What’s the Most DANGEROUS Word in Real Estate?

by Carla Thompson

 

Let’s imagine this: a buyer’s agent has a low offer to present to a listing agent. What is the most common response a listing agent will give?

“My seller will never take that.”

 

Also common are these responses:

“I can’t even present that.”

“We’re not even going to counter.”

“You’re expecting a counter, right?”

 

What do all of these responses have in common? They are all ways of saying the most dangerous word: NO.

 

Now why would the word “NO” be dangerous?

“If I were to put you into an fMRI scanner—a huge donut-shaped magnet that can take a video of the neural changes happening in your brain—and flash the word “NO” for less than one second, you’d see a sudden release of dozens of stress-producing hormones and neurotransmitters. These chemicals immediately interrupt the normal functioning of your brain, impairing logic, reason, language processing, and communication,” reports Dr. Andrew Newberg and Mark Waldman.

The moment you create a situation where the other person hears “NO,” you have now started a context in which the other party will be less inclined to participate logically and more inclined to react emotionally—and specifically, the emotionality will likely be negative. You are creating a situation where you are immediately at odds with the other agent. Now, that’s not the only downside. When you use the word “NO” or have a negative reaction, you are not only affecting the other party . . . you are also affecting yourself. Even insinuating a negative response causes you to have a stress reaction as well. This means your thinking is also clouded and you are likely to react negatively as you proceed.

 

So have you ever heard the expression that “the agents are getting in the way of the deal?” This is often what is happening. One or both of the agents are reacting negatively and therefore, they are not tapping into their logical reasoning to collaborate and work things out for the best outcome.

 

What should we do instead?

 

As I have taught over the years, a negotiation is a conversation. The art of influence is to keep the other party present at all times. This means we must concentrate on saying things that will engage the other party—not shut the person down by stirring up a negative state of emotion.

 

Wow. This means we actually have to be mindful of our scripting and our approach to facilitating a negotiation.

 

The first words that any listing agent should say are as follows:

“Thank you for presenting an offer. I will consult with the seller as soon as possible. I look forward to working with you and collaborating on a deal that benefits everyone.”

How would the buyer’s agent feel if you said this?

The agent would absolutely feel inspired to work with you and pull the deal together.

Every now and then a listing agent will say to me, “Well, how do I posture then to represent my seller to get the best price if I don’t tell the other agent that the offer is low or will never work?” My answer is always this—every agent who writes a low offer already knows it is low so why state the obvious and create friction?

 

Instead, I encourage all agents to take their performance to the next level. The highest level negotiators are people who work on the psychology behind their language choices. They work on using intentional scripting that will keep all participants present and that will create the best results.

If you would like to work on your performance too, reach out to us for coaching. We would love to support your growth.

 

Raise your game!